Thursday, February 28, 2019

Alrighty, Universe...

I take the melatonin. I take the Trazodone. I sleep until 11am. And I'm excited and start to think of all the cool things I had been working on and all the new projects I want to do and places to go and people to reconnect with...

And then I have a night like last night where I only sleep three hours then lay awake... thinking. And thinking...

I am incredibly exhausted today.

Yesterday I wore my mom out over FaceTime. Actually, I wore out both our phones too. There was just so much that I was worrying about and it all seems so impossible to solve. I know it's impossible to solve because no one wants to talk about any of it. Plus I'm tired and cranky.

Mom had no solutions. But then, right before she went to bed, she texted:

One thing we all seem to have forgotten.....The Universe!..... how 
about thinking of a request, like you’ve done in the past. This thought 
just came to me as I was asking for help from my end of things, 
as I was trying to get to sleep. Then I had to turn on the light and tell you. 
Now, goodnight!😴😘💤🌙 🙏😻💤💤💤

She's right. So I spent a lot of time overthinking that too. And then, I got out of bed and got to work.

Here's a page from the Quo Vadis calendar comic (my current Kickstarter project)

No, I didn't get all those things. But I have since learned that I was TOO specific on some of them which actually set me up to be disappointed.

According to Mike Dooley, who is an expert on the Universe and Manifesting, The Universe is always listening and gives you what you want. Unfortunately, WE don't know what we want and don't even realize that we are asking for it.

He suggests that we think of it more like a cosmic GPS system:
First, you have to get IN the car (decide you want something).
Second, you set the GPS with the destination. (What do you want? You don't need to know the directions to get there, just the final destination).
Third, put the car in gear and start moving! Just start. The Universe will adjust the GPS directions no matter what wrong turns you take, you just need to keep moving.

I also need to re-read to Danielle LaPorte's amazing book, The Firestarter Sessions. I'd forgotten how blown away I was when I first read that intentions, goals, etc. will lead to disappointment if they are based on wanting someTHING or to achieve some success. We need to think about why we want that and how it would make us FEEL. For example, I want a buttload of money so I can pay my bills and go to retreats. Definitely. But what I really want is the FEELING of abundance, and financial freedom, and security.

So if you combine the two theories, you'd get something like...

This is the Destination I'm entering into the Universe's GPS system -
"I want to feel financially secure and generous"
Then I start driving by rereading Ramit Sethi's book I Will Teach You to Be Rich.
I clean up my accounts, set up auto payments and auto savings.
I run into an old acquaintance who invites me to sketch-note a conference in exchange for admission and lunch. At the conference, one of the speakers notices my sketch-notes...
...and the GPS keeps readjusting to move me toward the Destination.

If I insist on the incredibly specific money intentions I wrote in the comic above - I will be disappointed. Not only because I won't/didn't achieve them, but because I am so focused on those that I am overlooking much better opportunities that the Universe is tossing in my path. That's self-limiting. Like driving your car into a wall rather than taking the turn suggested by the GPS.

What do I really want? I have to think some more about it - but at the moment - I want financial stability, a healthy mind and body, and I want to feel like I belong with other creative, inspiring, funny, loving people.

I removed all my silly intentions from the comic (seriously - how can I get a man to ruin my lipstick - if I don't even wear lipstick!?) and made a blank mini-print:

I just added it to the Kickstarter campaign too. If I can get the pledges up over $1000, then everyone who chooses a Reward, no matter the amount of the pledge, will get this mini-print! Then you can write out your own intentions and stick it where you can see it and remember what you really want.

OK - so please go back the Kickstarter and remember to "Follow" so you can get comic updates.


  1. We've met at a couple of Tangle U events, and I've followed your blog for years. You are a very sweet and talented young lady. But it seems to me you are looking for answers in all the wrong places. I know that sounds trite, but I believe it to be true. I am praying that you will seek a relationship with God. He is seeking you out, but you have to meet him halfway. If you search for Him in a particular church, but don't find Him there, don't stop the search. You need to feel good about where you are. It's best to be surrounded by believers, but they should be people you feel connected with. I know how shy you are, so search on line for a message of hope. There is a good church (or fellowship) about 45 minutes from you called The Movement. You can watch some of their messages here: Listen to some of their You Tube messages. I think you can find hope there.
    As for your financial situation, go to the library and get any of Dave Ramsey's books. They have an achievable plan for financial stability. My heart goes out to you and my prayers will continue for you.

  2. I'm glad other people are praying for you, because how could that hurt? Sorry, I can't do that for you, but here's an idea...I'd pay you $? (reasonable but reflecting your talent,) for a white board on which you apply that sketch, personalized to reflect my tastes more. For example, more of a likeness of me. No heart, but maybe a spool of thread. You offer the same to the universe, and see how much the universe wants the same. You figure out how to do it to scale in a manner that makes it worth your time. (?vinyl transfer of the part that's the same on each, and sharpie for what's personalized? You know the media better than I.) Maybe offer small and large sizes. Do I want it to take over the wall or just be a little reminder of what my wishes are? Would make a great gift, too. (think bridesmaids' gifts, etc.)

    I don't know about God or the universe, but pretty much everything that came my way was a result of really hard work and planning. So though the universe or higher power may have helped me along the way, (I am blessed with what I call good fortune,) I didn't wait for it to happen. I started working in small steps, whatever I could do, every day, toward the goals. Financial stability has always been a goal, having grown up with the threat of scarcity looming. How then do you monetize your particular passions and gifts? I love your books, but in the 21st century, they are more an indulgence than a plan. How about through offering your art via craft addiction sites like Silhouette, through planner stickers sheets? and of course, Etsy.

    Thinking of you fondly and with great hope for joy and laughter in our futures, O.

  3. Sorry you have had so much trouble sleeping! I sure know what that is like! I deal with chronic pain and it of course is enough to keep you awake but it can also send a persons mind rushes in a hundred directions. On those nights I listen to lots of music, a bit of everything. Lately it's been Wardruna and Heillung, I don't even know the words to most of the songs, but there is something in the rythme that really words for me. If I don't sleep it still lets my mind float a bit so the thoughts are still floating but it doesn't seem to bother as much. The other thing I do if it is just impossible to sleep is I will write out all the frustrating irritating things that keeps me awake. I don't try to put things in any order or spend time forming the words just get it down on paper. Sometimes I am able to settle down and sleep right then other time I either write or draw about all the things that are right and good in my life. I still have those nights where I do not sleep but this either lets me clear the jumble of thought and sleep or it at least lets me avoid the almost frenzy I can sometimes work myself into. I usually burn the paper that has all bad thought on it the next day and it lets it go. The next night there will be less of that running through my head. Not sure if this will help but I hope you are able to get relief soon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!


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