Sunday, February 24, 2019

A Little Nap'll Do Ya Wonders...

It's amazing what can happen in a week, right?

Last week, I was curled into a tight, painful ball of frustration and panic. I reached out to you all on Facebook and here on my blog. (Hys-ter-ic-al) That post got me into a bit of trouble with my ex (someone suggested my kid might be in danger...), but it also got me what I really NEEDED - reassurance. I received a lot of comments and emails telling me personal experiences with hysterectomies. And that "CRAZY" feeling was actually NORMAL. Anesthesia, pain meds, healing, hormones... I guess it's kind of like the Baby Blues some of us get after giving birth. Not something Doctors tell you. It's the stuff other Moms tell you.

I talked with my RN and she said major "Sleep Deprivation." She gave me a Prescription, a Plan, and Permission to feel crappy, complain, and sleep as long as my body needed. It helped. A lot. Now I'm back to my typical levels of anxiety - and healing what feels like an enormous paper-cut in my tummy.

Point is - I... WE... need other humans - Moms, creative brainstormer friends, neighbors with cookies. I believe a group of determined women can solve any problem - and my biggest problem right now is loneliness and isolation.

[Sidenote: if that makes you want to report me to my ex or social services - don't worry - I am very responsible, and an excellent Mom to my kids. They are safe.]

At the end of that previous blog post I wrote:
My plan is to do a Kickstarter that will run for a few weeks while I am "recovering" (ie: curled up in a tiny ball or crying hysterically). My goal is to raise some money to cover the bills, buy me some time to work on the "Hysterical-ectomy" comic, and renovate the new studio space. Go big or go home right? (yes, I know, I'm already home!)
I'm working on the Kickstarter now. Well - in my head. But writing this blog post is one step closer to making it a reality.

See what your advice and reassurance did? I actually got that Kickstarter up on Friday - and by Saturday evening, I had made the first goal!

Now, I'm working towards the bigger goal mentioned above. Moving forward with life, new projects, and an anti-isolation Studio. (Is that a thing?)

I know that I can overwhelm people and there are some who don't think it's appropriate to talk about things like depression, parenting... or hysterectomies... in public. But I disagree. Very. Strongly. Stuff needs to be discussed. And I prefer to think that - maybe - the reason so much crap happens to me - is RESEARCH, for the comics and books I'm meant to draw.

If you agree, please back the Kickstarter! Here are a couple of samples of comics from the Quo Vadis comic that is part of the Kickstarter:

Yes. That donut was just hanging there at the public market in White River Junction, after the (Halloween) Gory Daze Parade. My kid and I still laugh hysterically at this comic. Warped. I know.


  1. I knew you were in pain. Now, I was pretty sure your kids were fine. I was hoping there had been someone to explain to your children, the degree of absolute aloneness, self loathing, pain levels etc, happen when you have surgery. After all you sign papers agreeing to be cut open alive (unconscious of course) and restitched together.
    Bingo! Everything is fine! Right! Ha! Ha!
    I was one of the last person to be given twilight sleep to have a baby! Easy Peasy! Not on your life. My Aunt went to Her grave, still telling people how stupid I was after giving birth. Like I slurred my words, I was talking about soup then said no soup. —- Yep! Those hospital stays! Then there is the horror of going home! Why, because no one believes you require assistance. The Doctor, Let you out of the Hospital! So, why was there no plans for a caretaker, for you and the kids? Doctor dis-missed you. No help needed. Right?? Good as Gold. This is when the real confusing begins.
    It is such a lonely, lonely place.
    Sorry, it was so frightening.

    1. In France, they keep you a week and feed you. THey feed you French cuisine! Now, if that isn't the way to kickstart parenthood, I don't know what is. Your doctors have no control over what the insurance company says is ok, and if they want to keep you, they have to prove why it's necessary. "Medical necessity" isn't adequate explanation. We all need to take care of each other after the discharge. I always asked patients who was going to mind the older kids while you took care of a newborn and yourself. The reality is that you need someone to take care of you, too, especially if you've had a c-section. As a society, we will have to take care of each other for it to be ok. How can we tell if someone is going home to isolation and dependents if we don't ask? We have to ask.

  2. Talking about things is how stigma is lifted. It's not always easy for some people, so for those of us who are natural "sharers," it's up to us to do that. If you watch the best comedians, they are successful because they talk about things that you're "not supposed to" talk about. It helps the sharer, but you never know who else needs to hear that they aren't alone in their concerns and problems.
    One of your super-powers is to share your real life in the form of art and humor. We need a lot more art and humor in our lives, all of us.

  3. Sandy, I am so glad you are making progress. Recovery can be a lot harder than we expect, and it is true our health care system is abysmal about after care, in fact in most cases it doesn't even exist. I am sure you are doing the very best you can under very tough circumstances. I can tell you that I think you are doing a wonderful job of coping with hard times, and I admire you so much for talking about it to all of use. I get courage from your writing and drawings Sandy. I'm an old lady and I need to hear voices like yours, to know that you are hanging in there in spite of everything, even if it is just by your fingernails. I have been there, and expect that I will be there again, and all I can say is, you are one of my heroes. Breath in and out Sandy, sometimes that is how we do it, one breath at a time. You have a lot of readers who are cheering for you, and I certainly am one of them. Yaaaayyyy, Sandy!!!!!


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