My Birthday Week

If you haven't read my late-night, pre-Birthday rant, please take a look - it would mean SO much to me!

I did have a party and it was a lot of fun. It was interesting to note that none of the people that would consider themselves to be my closest or oldest friends, made it to the party. As for Family, my Mom and my daughter were there. On the other hand, I was pleasantly surprised and heartened by the folks who DID attend! Good food, chocolate, whiskey, and lots of laughter! Thanks everyone!
If you'd like to see photos, follow me on Facebook.

Although, seriously, if you want to see photos, you should follow my MOM on Facebook. Sheesh...

After an exhausting week - which included RE-doing my application for the McDowell Colony Residency, planning the party, packing for my vacation, lawyer emails, etc., and then WAY TOO MUCH DRIVING and chaos - I am, at this very moment... trying to relax and BE on vacation. Well... maybe after I write this blog post. THEN...

So... One week later...

I want to tell you about my Birthday Presents!

If you want to send me a present, or a card, or just insist that I don't look 50... I celebrate all month!
Send it/them here: PO Box 359, Warner, NH 03278.
Wink-wink.

Seriously, these are the Birthday Presents I gave myself in honor of (surviving) 50 years.
(Gold star stickers only go so far).

OK, here's what I wanted (in CAPS) and what I got...

1. FIND A TRIBE -- Midlife Redefine
I did a promo piece for Emily Clement a while back and I've worked with Emily as a Life Coach - she is so much fun and so inspiring! I was whining about how I wished I could continue working with her (private coaching is out of my budget right now), when she told me about a membership group she is starting later this month.

Yes! Life coaching AND instant friends!!! Dream come true!
If you are curious, look here:
www.emilyclementlifecoach.com/midliferedefine
And this is a video Emily made that gives you an excellent idea of what it's like to work with her, and some great ideas to get you started now:
https://youtu.be/5uPAfegkazk

2. MAKE A CHANGE -- Solar Panels
Yes! My very own power station was installed just before my Birthday. Still a lot of things I'd like to do to my house to make it energy efficient, but this is a start.

I got my panels from Granite State Solar through the Solarize Kearsarge program. There was funding available through VSECU (a VT credit union) and 2019 is the last year to take advantage of the awesome solar tax credit!

3. PLAY! -- Lego Ninjago City
I know what you're thinking!!
But, yes, I'm pretty sure this city will fit above my kitchen cabinets with the rest of my city.

There are still three other buildings that I don't have - Assembly Square, the Corner Garage, and the brand-new Treehouse! But I had been getting really nervous that this one would be discontinued soon - and I really need a "Chinatown" for my city! (Or Japantown). I don't care about "Ninjago" anything but OMG! - there's a COMIC BOOK STORE and a SUSHI BAR!!!! Yes, yes, YES!!

This one will take a LONG time to build, but I can't wait to start on it when I get home from Birthday present #4...

4. RUN AWAY! -- Ogunquit, Maine
I have been almost desperate for an escape!

And this is my Place. Although it got off to a rocky start, I am so grateful to be here.

My mom and daughter were here with me for a few days and my sister came down for a brunch party on my actual Birthday (Sept. 15th).

Now I have the whole treehouse to myself for a few days. And there is a huge table where I have all my comics laid out (no, I haven't done a dang thing yet!)

I've never been here when it's so crowded, but at night, the beach is quiet and beautiful.

And there are so many things to distract me and remind me that I really want to start doing watercolor paintings again (of Dragon Trees!)

If you want to see more pics of Maine, be sure to follow me on Facebook.

5. INDULGE -- Super soft cozy sweater

Well... it was 50% off! And it's SOOOOOO soft and fluffy!! Mmm!

6. CULTURE -- Ticket to "Kinky Boots"

In the 15 years I've been coming here, I've never seen a play at the Ogunquit Playhouse! Probably because it's usually closed (I come here off-season).

But Kinky Boots just opened yesterday- "score by Cyndi Lauper"!! - so I searched every performance on the days I'm here and found ONE single seat available on Sunday! Live theatre is expensive. But I am proud that I could find the last cheap ticket.

OK, that's enough presents for now. I'm hoping to get some sleep. Draw some comics. Talk to the ocean some more. Listen to its advice. Drink at least one more Chocolate-Caramel Martini by the fire pit - hopefully with someone cute to gaze at over the flames- otherwise I'll have to keep drinking until they ARE cute, and get some more definitive images in my mind of where I want to steer my Life next. I'm running everything through the "Hell-Yes!" and "Hell-No!" filters.
Stay tuned!

Happy Birthday! Happy Survivor Day?

"I'm not DEAD YET!" to quote Monty Python...

This Sunday is my 50th Birthday and I'm making a really big deal about it. A few people have thought it was weird in general that I even still celebrate birthdays. Or that it's strange to celebrate a birthday since we don't actually DO anything to deserve them - our Moms' should have parties, since they did all the work. Fair enough.

I've always thought of it as a celebration of having survived another year. Just as many folks party to welcome in the New Year - fresh and clean - I think of Birthdays as a way to mark the year like, "PHEW! That was close! But I made it!"

I feel the need to explain further.

Here's a comic I drew a few weeks ago (for a graphic novel I'm working on about mental health):

When I was about 11, doctors discovered I had an extremely rare tumor that they didn't know how to treat. It wasn't quite cancer, and yet, it was growing. (I learned many years later, that the growing mass had smashed all the bones in my orbital floor). I had a bunch of biopsies and tons of CT scans - but then I had to decide between two unlikely methods of treatment (see the comic above). I chose the experimental radiation. It was very new at this time and had way more CONS than PROS. But an Expiration Date of age 25 was still more than twice my age.

Despite being very sick during and after treatment, losing a lot of my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes (a nightmare in middle school), lots of vomiting and nosebleeds, and missing more than 30 days of school in one year... I still somehow managed to set some very high level expectations for myself. I didn't sit around waiting to die when I turned 25, but I also didn't ever imagine anything that might come after. I didn't imagine getting older. I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids - so I didn't imagine having a family. And in between bouts of depression, every illness that was sneezed at me (I'd lost my immune system), all kinds of weirdness in my body, and a constant fear of letting people down --- By the time I turned 25 --- I had traveled all over the world including Egypt (twice), Japan, England, Italy, Mexico..., I had had my photographs exhibited in galleries, attended Philadelphia College of Art, Brown University, the School of Visual Arts, and Rhode Island School of Design. I'd worked as a cartoonist and an exhibit designer at the Children's Museum of RI, and I was working towards getting my kids' books published. I was also married and had my own home.

And then, I turned 25 and... nothing happened.

Well, that's not true, there were always crazy things happening. But I didn't die. Instead, my beloved cat, Gustas Silvertip, who I'd had since I was 8... HE got the same tumor that I'd had! In a very similar location. The vet was able to remove some of it and he lived a few more years. In fact, he died just a few months before my son was born - Gusty was more than 20 years old!

A watercolor I painted of Gusty, sometime in the late 1980's.

What happens when you survive?
Yes, I was happy to be alive! And I had a really cool (weird) kid! But I was walking through completely blank pages. I'd never imagined being 30! Then 35!? Then I decided I had one more kid to bring into the world, to defy the doctors... who no longer cared about my miraculousness. (Or perhaps, they were dead? They'd seemed pretty old when I was a kid).

So I just kept on pushing myself as I always had. Maybe even harder because I had no idea this time how long I would have. I started and sold a rubber stamp company, painted furniture, learned stained glass, PMC, got certified in a strange new drawing method called Zentangle, got books published, started a store, traveled to Germany, France, the Middle East..., got divorced, started over, went back to school for my Masters, started over, again...

And all this time, I was being diagnosed with new tumors in different locations. More surgeries. More healing. And each time, I wondered, "Is this the real deadline? It can't be, I'm not finished with all the new projects." And I pushed myself harder.

This past winter was one of the worst of the tumors. It was really unexpected and I'd been working so hard on getting in shape and finding a new relationship. It just seemed so incredibly unfair. Everything is worse when you think it's unfair! The surgery was awful and painful and the recovery took months and was awful and painful. And everything was unfair.

But... I didn't die. I'm still here. And the oldest of my kids-that-I-never imagined graduated from college this spring and is now a teacher. My youngest is in 7th grade and she sings and draws and writes. These two are probably my greatest achievements. And yes, I'm taking credit!! I created two amazing people who were not "supposed" to exist. And I was not "supposed" to still exist.

Now I am 25 years past my Expiration Date. I have used every damned extra year I've been given and every superpower I have (from the radiation?) to try and justify my continued existence. I have dealt with every insane medical, legal, and financial nightmare that's been thrown at me. And I have started over and over and over.

I'm so exhausted.

And I want a party.
I deserve a party.

So now you know.

And yes, I want chocolate, and whiskey, and Legos, and a couple of calm weeks in Ogunquit, but what I want the MOST for my 50th Birthday gift, is another 25 years.

Alrighty, Universe...

I take the melatonin. I take the Trazodone. I sleep until 11am. And I'm excited and start to think of all the cool things I had been working on and all the new projects I want to do and places to go and people to reconnect with...

And then I have a night like last night where I only sleep three hours then lay awake... thinking. And thinking...

I am incredibly exhausted today.

Yesterday I wore my mom out over FaceTime. Actually, I wore out both our phones too. There was just so much that I was worrying about and it all seems so impossible to solve. I know it's impossible to solve because no one wants to talk about any of it. Plus I'm tired and cranky.

Mom had no solutions. But then, right before she went to bed, she texted:

One thing we all seem to have forgotten.....The Universe!..... how 

about thinking of a request, like you’ve done in the past. This thought 

just came to me as I was asking for help from my end of things, 

as I was trying to get to sleep. Then I had to turn on the light and tell you. 

Now, goodnight!😴😘💤🌙 🙏😻💤💤💤

She's right. So I spent a lot of time overthinking that too. And then, I got out of bed and got to work.

Here's a page from the Quo Vadis calendar comic (my current Kickstarter project)

No, I didn't get all those things. But I have since learned that I was TOO specific on some of them which actually set me up to be disappointed.

According to Mike Dooley, who is an expert on the Universe and Manifesting, The Universe is always listening and gives you what you want. Unfortunately, WE don't know what we want and don't even realize that we are asking for it.

He suggests that we think of it more like a cosmic GPS system:
First, you have to get IN the car (decide you want something).
Second, you set the GPS with the destination. (What do you want? You don't need to know the directions to get there, just the final destination).
Third, put the car in gear and start moving! Just start. The Universe will adjust the GPS directions no matter what wrong turns you take, you just need to keep moving.

I also need to re-read to Danielle LaPorte's amazing book, The Firestarter Sessions. I'd forgotten how blown away I was when I first read that intentions, goals, etc. will lead to disappointment if they are based on wanting someTHING or to achieve some success. We need to think about why we want that and how it would make us FEEL. For example, I want a buttload of money so I can pay my bills and go to retreats. Definitely. But what I really want is the FEELING of abundance, and financial freedom, and security.

So if you combine the two theories, you'd get something like...

This is the Destination I'm entering into the Universe's GPS system -
"I want to feel financially secure and generous"
Then I start driving by rereading Ramit Sethi's book I Will Teach You to Be Rich.
I clean up my accounts, set up auto payments and auto savings.
I run into an old acquaintance who invites me to sketch-note a conference in exchange for admission and lunch. At the conference, one of the speakers notices my sketch-notes...
...and the GPS keeps readjusting to move me toward the Destination.

If I insist on the incredibly specific money intentions I wrote in the comic above - I will be disappointed. Not only because I won't/didn't achieve them, but because I am so focused on those that I am overlooking much better opportunities that the Universe is tossing in my path. That's self-limiting. Like driving your car into a wall rather than taking the turn suggested by the GPS.

What do I really want? I have to think some more about it - but at the moment - I want financial stability, a healthy mind and body, and I want to feel like I belong with other creative, inspiring, funny, loving people.

I removed all my silly intentions from the comic (seriously - how can I get a man to ruin my lipstick - if I don't even wear lipstick!?) and made a blank mini-print:

I just added it to the Kickstarter campaign too. If I can get the pledges up over $1000, then everyone who chooses a Reward, no matter the amount of the pledge, will get this mini-print! Then you can write out your own intentions and stick it where you can see it and remember what you really want.

OK - so please go back the Kickstarter and remember to "Follow" so you can get comic updates.

A Little Nap'll Do Ya Wonders...

It's amazing what can happen in a week, right?

Last week, I was curled into a tight, painful ball of frustration and panic. I reached out to you all on Facebook and here on my blog. (Hys-ter-ic-al) That post got me into a bit of trouble with my ex (someone suggested my kid might be in danger...), but it also got me what I really NEEDED - reassurance. I received a lot of comments and emails telling me personal experiences with hysterectomies. And that "CRAZY" feeling was actually NORMAL. Anesthesia, pain meds, healing, hormones... I guess it's kind of like the Baby Blues some of us get after giving birth. Not something Doctors tell you. It's the stuff other Moms tell you.

I talked with my RN and she said major "Sleep Deprivation." She gave me a Prescription, a Plan, and Permission to feel crappy, complain, and sleep as long as my body needed. It helped. A lot. Now I'm back to my typical levels of anxiety - and healing what feels like an enormous paper-cut in my tummy.

Point is - I... WE... need other humans - Moms, creative brainstormer friends, neighbors with cookies. I believe a group of determined women can solve any problem - and my biggest problem right now is loneliness and isolation.

[Sidenote: if that makes you want to report me to my ex or social services - don't worry - I am very responsible, and an excellent Mom to my kids. They are safe.]

At the end of that previous blog post I wrote:
My plan is to do a Kickstarter that will run for a few weeks while I am "recovering" (ie: curled up in a tiny ball or crying hysterically). My goal is to raise some money to cover the bills, buy me some time to work on the "Hysterical-ectomy" comic, and renovate the new studio space. Go big or go home right? (yes, I know, I'm already home!)
I'm working on the Kickstarter now. Well - in my head. But writing this blog post is one step closer to making it a reality.

See what your advice and reassurance did? I actually got that Kickstarter up on Friday - and by Saturday evening, I had made the first goal!

Now, I'm working towards the bigger goal mentioned above. Moving forward with life, new projects, and an anti-isolation Studio. (Is that a thing?)


I know that I can overwhelm people and there are some who don't think it's appropriate to talk about things like depression, parenting... or hysterectomies... in public. But I disagree. Very. Strongly. Stuff needs to be discussed. And I prefer to think that - maybe - the reason so much crap happens to me - is RESEARCH, for the comics and books I'm meant to draw.

If you agree, please back the Kickstarter! Here are a couple of samples of comics from the Quo Vadis comic that is part of the Kickstarter:

Yes. That donut was just hanging there at the public market in White River Junction, after the (Halloween) Gory Daze Parade. My kid and I still laugh hysterically at this comic. Warped. I know.

Hys-ter-ic-al

I have spent a lot of time... months? curled up, staring at the backs of my eyelids... thinking. I have sketched out numerous pages for the graphic medicine/autobio comic I  want to write about my hysterectomy. In my head. I have written emails and sent cards. In my head. I have designed some online classes and outlined a new Zentangle book. In my head. And I've written many, many blog posts. In my head.

Last night, I uncurled, a little bit - and reached out on Facebook:

Anyone else awake? I had no idea the recovery time would be so hard for this hysterectomy. I figured it would hurt, sure, but what’s with my screwy head and emotions? I just feel so scared all the time. The tumor was the size of a baby - so maybe this is like having post-baby blues?

And I was amazed and reassured by the responses I received - both public and private. My surgery was only a week ago and it was a lot more involved and traumatic than expected. Well - expected by medical folks - I knew it would be unpredictable. One night in the hospital dragged on into the weekend... 

Just walking to the kitchen exhausts me. Or taking a shower. Or having a conversation with my kid. Well... that's pretty typical. Scratch that. I forget ordinary words and names or where my conversation was going. And then suddenly think of completely random things... 

Today, I suddenly remembered an argument from years ago about why someone like me should have disability insurance. You know, if something were to happen to my hand and I couldn't draw. Or I had my insides ripped out through multiple holes in my stomach and needed to rest and heal for 6-8 weeks and reduce my stress and I couldn't think coherently for a few weeks and had no way to earn money. Yeh. I should take myself more seriously in the future.

I have plenty of ideas. And tons of really cool things that I had started. It's just that right now - where it takes me a week just to open my computer and write a blog post... those genius plans feel SO far away.

There are moments... in between the crying hysterically - and the staring at the backs of my eyelids... when I feel a sense of calm and purpose return. At those moments, I remember what I need to do. At the top of that list is to turn this whole experience - of trying to understand the depression, anxiety, panic... bleeding - discovering the tumor, doing research, making decisions, doing research on autism, trying to get myself and my family prepared for the surgery and the down-time, and now - desperately trying to find some help and solutions --- it all needs to be "drawn out." I need to turn it into a comic. Not necessarily funny - although I do remember there were some very funny bits.

And I need to create a new studio space. I lost the space I had been creating in Concord last summer, right about the same time that my financial plans and my health betrayed me. So this time, I want to create the Studio, here, in my home. I have an amazing studio here in my barn where I draw and create  - and many years ago, I had a public studio where I did Open Studios and workshops. I want to resurrect that space. It will be a bright, cheerful space for meetings, Open Studios, playdays, Studio Sales, workshops, and the home base of Bumblebat, my publishing company and Etsy shop.

I need people and I need cool projects and I need to feel like there is a point to waking up each day. I know I can do this. I've done it before. And I've pulled myself out of some pretty bad depressions too.  Although, I have to admit that, although I have had many, many intense surgeries, this one was the biggest and messiest yet.

So, taking into consideration the excellent advice from my Facebook friends that I need to give myself time to heal and recover fully - and the crazy, but true, logical thoughts running through my head in endless loops "you can't afford this!?", "you can't afford the medical expenses!?", "you'll need to sell a kidney!", "you should have sold the uterus!" Anyway. My plan is to do a Kickstarter that will run for a few weeks while I am "recovering" (ie: curled up in a tiny ball or crying hysterically). My goal is to raise some money to cover the bills, buy me some time to work on the "Hysterical-ectomy" comic, and renovate the new studio space. Go big or go home right? (yes, I know, I'm already home!)
I'm working on the Kickstarter now. Well - in my head. But writing this blog post is one step closer to making it a reality.

Hi. I'm Sandy. And I'm a Pessimist.

I don't actually think that's true. I think a Pessimist is someone who always assumes everything will go wrong.

I assume things will be fine... and then... they always go wrong.

At the very least, that's an Optimistic-Pessimist, right?

The Optimist says: "Hey, I finally drew a comic! Yeah!"

The Optimistic-Pessimist is saying: "Hello? Can anyone hear me? There must be someone who can help!?"

The Pessimist: "I'm cracking. These aren't the Cracks-That-Let-In-The-Light. These are the ones where parts of you fall off."

Queen Bee!

This was easily one of the most fun Birthdays I've ever had.

Birthdays are a huge deal to me - I like to celebrate that I am still here.

We had planned to take a trip down South this week - but the Hurricanes - "Florence", out in the real world, and "Sandy", inside my head - made us reconsider.

After a few days of puttering, and recharging, I started to feel a little better and got this crazy thought, "I want a party!"

My Guy said, "Sure! A party - I'll get food."

My Mom said, "A party for whom?"

Me me me ME!

Today started with a giant note on my door and a Birthday [pan]Cake with kisses. yum yum.

I got to do anything I wanted all day! (That's never happened before).  So I had a really long walk which included an adventure into a forest on the far side of the river, and lots of mysterious comings and goings in my house.

Lots of food, including a chocolate fountain...
Many hours later, when the House Elves were cleaning up, I heard Laurie ask Bill, as she struggled to clean the cursed fountain,
"I wonder if people actually use these things more than once?"

I'm not telling what I wished for. ;-)

I got folks to write and draw in my "Holiday Book". This is a tradition I started just before my daughter was born and it's kind of amazing to look back and remember events, and non-events.

Caden served as Art Director for Debbee - who documented the event:

 Pretty accurate...

And finally... here are some of the Photo Opp pics (thanks Laurie for the background!). There were Mimosas involved (thanks Christine!)

I know I don't always write about the Good Stuff that happens. This was Good Stuff. And I want to thank everyone who sent me Happy Birthday Wishes on Facebook and elsewhere! Thank you for making it such a lovely day - a little bit of calm and happiness in the crazy-storm that keeps raging around here.

A Quick Visit to the Graveyard , part 2

My kid and I were finally able to go to the graveyard to visit my Grandmother and bring her some chocolate cake! She didn't mind that we were a few weeks late for her birthday - and the cake was a teeny bit stale... that didn't keep Lilah from eating some of it either.

We noticed some other unusual graves around the place and the large number of "benches"!

Sweet Steps

This has been an incredibly intense week... actually, the whole month - if I count the graphic medicine conference and everything. I didn't have time to recuperate or recharge before I tripped over the zip line and went flying down the mountain again.

Deciding to leave the big studio in Concord, packing, moving, Selectmen's Meeting, tons of meetings, legal threats, researching the legal threats... I lost track of how many people yelled at me this past week... what's up with that? Why do people think that is OK? If I wore lipstick, my lipstick case would be covered with notches for all the people who hate me right now.

And the worst part is that my mudroom, my music studio, my garage and now a 10x10 storage unit - are all jam packed with STUFF that I don't know what to do with!? (Yes, my OCD/CDO is so overwhelmed I just stare at the boxes)

 And with the kid in Middle School, I have to get up 2 hours earlier than is biologically possible for me - so I'm running on fumes. (I work at night because I can concentrate better and there is less visual distraction).

And I have to get focused on my fall illustration projects - because surely all the Wingdoodle insanity would have been finished by summer's end. Right? RIGHT?!

Breathing... breathing... nope. I'll get back to that later.

I have ONE thing that is on my side right now - and I have to try NOT to screw that up too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got a little bit of sleep last night, finally. Lilah and I had worn ourselves out at Montshire Science Museum yesterday. Then we had a yummy dinner with my guy. Then we all couch-potatoed for hours (Pitch Perfect 2 and Lemonade Mouth). Then keeled over for at least 6 hours of sleep. Aaaaaahhhhh...

I had a strange dream that someone whispered, "two have M&Ms in them... warming in the oven..."

Some time later, I was woken up by Lilah saying, "Bill left you a present on your stairs! I'll TRY not to step on it! Get up get up get UP!"

I was picturing a mouse or something, until I remembered that Bill is not a cat.

Nevertheless, I was still expecting something messy. "A present left on... x..." is a euphemism. Like saying a house has "charm and potential..."

I think I'm just worn out and descending into Cynicism.
(Which is why I'm trying so hard not to screw up that ONE thing that is right in my life.)

What WAS it already!!!????

Ok, ok...

I stumbled across the studio and almost fell down the stairs!

I thought that was the sweetest thing ever until I saw...

...there really were pancakes for me and the kid.

With M&M's.

And they were still warm.

A Quick Visit to the Graveyard

I promised her I'd come back to visit with my daughter...

We have always celebrated my Grandmother's Birthday in the graveyard, with chocolate cake, but this year I went alone. I brought cake. But it didn't taste as good. I felt so sad. For the first time.
I always feel sad and miss Gramma like crazy, but this was that disappearing kind of sad. I believe that, when someone's Story ceases to be told - they disappear.

I sat on her grave (it's a bench), licking chocolate frosting off my fingers, and realized that she was the only family I still had, in Warner, that I could visit. Maybe that's why I feel so "dis-appear-y" too?

Last year, I went sort-of-alone. The Fireman came with me at the last minute. But that made me start thinking about how I needed to write a story about my Gramma so she doesn't really disappear. I made notes... and one year later, I've done nothing. I can remember sitting at the drafting table in my new studio, at the Community Arts Center, writing and sketching - as if it were yesterday. And here I am ONE YEAR LATER.

To torture myself, I searched back through Facebook and this blog to find all the posts I'd written about our celebrations in the Graveyard - and they are mostly joyous occasions. And I also realized - it's been TEN YEARS of parties!

To make myself feel better and so she is not forgotten - at least - not this year - here is a retrospective of the past ten years. With links to the original posts. And with quotes. And my favorite pictures from that party...

2009 - Goodbye

My Grandma Magda died yesterday.

I am glad that I took her to California to visit my brother. I'm glad I took her to Arizona to visit her best friend. I wish I had forced her to go to Estonia to see her family again. It's so ironic - she was afraid she might die there and have to be shipped "home". That was ten years ago.

2010 - A Grave Situation

...I mean, she was buried in a tote bag for goodness sakes...

And on others [in the Montparnasse Cemetery in Paris], there were small piles of rocks. I suppose it is a way of saying, "I was here and I miss you."

My grandmother shares her headstone with her mother-in-law, Jenni, her husband, Johannes, and her baby daughter, Merike. Jenni and John are actually buried somewhere on Long Island and Merike had been in a mass grave in Germany. But she was... "removed"... when a large highway was built. It's nice to have them all together again in Warner, even if it is only in name.

2010 - Good Times in the Graveyard  - [How it began]

[The bear would] dream about a lady with lovely smooth, pink skin, mischievous blue eyes surrounded by laugh lines, and the heart of a bear. And for that minute, the bear would wonder 'Am I a woman dreaming of being a bear, or a bear dreaming that I am a woman?' And my Grandmother would look down from where she is watching and have a good laugh.

2011 - Graveyard Bash

On my Grandmother's Birthday, we marched off to the cemetery for a little visit and some cake. Of all the holidays and traditions that families can follow or create, this has become one of our favorites. So, welcome to our Second Annual Grandma Magda's Birthday Celebration.

My mom, sits on HER mom.

Lilah, sits on HER mom... me! 

2013 - Graveyards, Bugs and ... Whoopie Pies. 
[this one has MAGGOTS!]

And just to prove that I have perfectly normal kids... Alex teased Lilah about who-knows-what and she proceeded to pelt him with the bag of dirt. Alex enjoyed it immensely. Ok, maybe they aren't normal.
2014 - Happy 100!  [One of my favorites!]

But, alas, Alex is the Gramma... er... grammar... police in any language. Especially chocolate.

But he is also an excellent big brother. He spells correctly, but he let his sister have the last Kiss.

2015 - Happy 101th!

Gramma Magda was an amazing lady who once rescued her mother-in-law from a concentration camp. 

Show of hands... how many of us would do that? 

Exactly.
2017

Happy Birthday Gramma Magda. I miss you so much. The chocolate cake is very yummy, but celebrating your birthday alone this year made me miss ya so much more. 

But... I also started getting an idea for a graphic novel...

2018

Happy Birthday Gramma Magda. Vanaema. I miss you so much.

This is the first time I have celebrated her birthday completely on my own. 

I didn’t even have to share the chocolate cake. 

I would have preferred to share the cake.